Two Weeks In Penang…Continued

Continued from the last post…

We went into this Indian restaurant. Didn’t eat there, but the food looked amazing.

We went to the narrowest market ever.

It was seriously very narrow.

We went to this pet shop that was more like a mini zoo. It had all kinds of pets and the aquarium section was just amazing! I never appreciated fishes but I did in that shop, walking past all these beautiful fishes that God created. It helped that I was with Alex, an avid fish fan. LOL

7.19pm
Going out for dinner soon, with Joseph.

10.49pm
I had quite a long talk with Joseph. About 1 and a half hours. I feel really sleepy and tired. Gnite.

16 June 09 (Tues)
8.22am
Sunrise was beautiful. But not colourful.
I’ve been feeling weird remember. Yeah. Actually more like feeling normal. After feeling experiencing the Father’s love, there’s no going back. I feel now like His presence has left me. I think I did something that broke His heart. Father, I’m so sorry. I still know You love me still.

8.55am
The seats in the hall have changed. Less people, so less chairs

10.18pm
Haha I didn’t write at all this morn and afternoon. Teaching was good. Not as heavy as last week, but still heavy. But it touched home…I think. I found myself in communion with Him again. I was having convos with Him again. Awesome…He seriously was with me. Even when I was taking pics of the sunrise, He told me when to press the button. Coz the car was moving so fast, by the time the picture registered, the pic was not what I wanted to get. But He would suddenly say NOW and I would quickly press the button and the picture would be perfect, without any trees blocking.
After the session we went to Tesco. We bought stuff, food, and then came back to the hotel and hung out at Joseph’s room. I’m so full. And I didn’t pay anything, except for the bag of ice, which only cost rm1.70. We talked and talked, then I joined Alex at the balcony. We talked and I felt a deep connection with him. Like super deep. I’ve never felt that with anyone before. I could feel the tears coming as I thought of the ‘separation’ we would face when the seminar ends. I would really miss him. And he would miss me, too. He said he wished we both were from the same state, and also wished that he went to KL often. He obviously feels it, too. I asked God about this, and He jst said, “Love him back. I’ve put that love ion your heart for a reason.” Ok Father, I’ll obey You.
I realize something. I was not scared at all when I went to the 7/11 to get ice. I did feel the fear creeping in, but the Father’s voice was saying, “You can do it son, I know you can.” It was all I needed to hear. Fear was just gone. I marched up to the store, bought the ice, and as I came back tot he car, He said, “There is no fear in the Father’s love.” Yup. His love has got a hold of me. I am not scared anymore.

It’s true that I normally wouldn’t connect or want to connect with someone like Alex, but God surprised me with what I thought were my boundaries. The truth is, my boundaries were self-imposed. He is boundary-less, and I am still learning that when coming in contact with people.
I know it sounds kinda stupid. Going into a 7/11 store and feeling scared. But that was something that happened on a weekly basis for me before the seminar. Everything tiny thing was a chance for me to slip up. Or so I thought. The Father cheering us on is everything we need to know to conquer this world. In fact, we don’t even conquer it. He does it for us. All we have to do it rest in His love. So simple. 

17 June 09 (Wed)
8.19am
Alex is staying over again. Wheeee!

8.31am
He’s coming over soon to drop his ‘sleeping over’ bag and then we’ll leave for Dalat School. Hopefully he comes soon.

11.45am
After break there was worship. I offered to tune the guitar coz it wasn’t really in tune. I tuned it, but Niklos wasn’t really paying attention coz he needed to start the worship soon. I went back to my seat and Niklos started to play. He looked up in surprise as he heard the guitar and gave an impressed look at me. hehehe I was just happy to help.

4.30pm
God is good. He’s definitely helping me to sort my feelings. I realize now that what Ive been feeling is wrong. It was right, but wrongly done. So now it’s right. It doesn’t feel like a tie anymore, it’s more like giving instead of receiving. It’s hard to explain, coz it’s a feeling. Next session starting.

10.48pm
The teaching has been really good. It’s very different from the kind of teaching lest week, but I don’t know how to explain it.This week has been addressing a lot of issues I’ve faced, so that’s cool.
I find myself much more manlier now. I think the words said had such power on me, that I embraced my femininity so much and rejected my masculinity. It also made me become so much of a girl. Somehow my body responded to it and became what the words said.
Now I feel my shirt more, which means I’m filling up my shirt more, not so skinny anymore. That’s only how I’m feeling, don’t know if I actually look it. Hahaha

It was a little freaky feeling myself change like that. I just felt more manlier, I guess, and it affected the way I carried myself. Don’t underestimate the power of words. Be careful what you say because it can either damage or build people’s lives. Seriously.

11.02pm
Alex went up to Joseph’s room to talk, and I didn’t join coz I’m sleepy and I think I should let them talk.
I actually saw a vision about Alex but forgot about it and forgot to tell him. I saw him taking a can of 7up from an icebox and drinking it, then I saw the whole thing again but this time there was no label on the can he took out. it was just this brilliant glorious shining can. He drank it and that was the one he was supposed to drink.
I saw something similar to it again. It was a 7up commercial and there was the splashing thing and the can of 7up and there was Alex drinking from a  can of 7up. He tasted the 7up and ha da look of dissatisfaction on his face. Same thing happened again, this time he drank a nameless label-less shining glorious can and he looked satisfied.
I didn’t really understand, even though I could come up with an explanation. So today I told him and he explained it for himself. So that’s good. I feel awesome. Hehehe
Today for dinner, Alex took us to this seaside row of restaurants. Actually, more like lakeside. The scenery was beautiful, the seafood was amazing, and after the dinner, while Regi and Joseph talked, Alex and I went walking. We went out onto this jetty that stuck out into the sea and we sat there and talked. It was really “romantic” hahahaha but it was nice. I had a great time.

18 June 09 (Thurs)
1.35pm
I’ve been just receiving and receiving all I can. Alice just told me that I always look alert and connected when someone was teaching. I thought that was funny, coz today was the sleepiest I’ve even been.
I’m thinking of getting resources but I don’t know which one to get, and I have no money. Daddy doesn’t know what they have, so it’s best for him to come and look. But they close the table, resource table, tomorrow. So…:( I don’t know what to do.
Time for small groups.

3.14pm
During the small groups, the last thing we did was pray for me. Everyone surrounded me and prayed a blessing over me. Richard said I was like an arrow, sharp, straight to the point, not wanting to say something in 10 sentences but in 1 sentence. He said I will bring clarity in confusion, be able to summarize situations. Alex said I was very gifted in zooming in on tiny details. Can’t really remember what else he said. Joseph said I was very sensitive and discerning and that God wanted to use me to bless others through that. Niklos’ one was the most interesting. He said he saw me playing a board game with Father. We were comfortable with each other, and playing the game with focus. He said I was close to the Father. He said he also saw a sculpture that wasn’t finished, only the head was done, and it was me. Something about God’s work not yet done. His artistry. Nik said something else that was very interesting. He said my mind and my heart, both so capable, could make a powerful combination and it was a gift put in me by the Father. It was nice hearing all the things that God thought about me.

10.31opm
I actually overslept. The soaking session was 3-4pm but I slept until 4 and past the teabreak. I woke up when the session was starting again. I think it was Richard who woke me up and passed me a paper. It was the notes for that session. I could barely see. My brain had totally shut down. I looked at the paper and tried to read it but my brain couldn’t understand the words. I got up and sat on my chair and it felt so weird. Like I had just been born and had to relearn everything. It was weird. Dinner was ok. I think I ‘depressed’ my ownself, I really don’t know what happened. My mind just can’t make out the situation.

That night was really weird. I just suddenly became so depressed. Any open door the enemy finds will be used to their best advantage. We always need to be watchful and keep that trust in the Father.

19 June 09 (Fri)
8.10am
Yesterday was weird. It’s like I totally lost it. I’m crying out to the Father — Help me know You are new.
Today is the last full day.
Yesterday, I actually hurt Alex. But I told him I was sorry and said my excuse, which was no excuse at all, but it had to do with ‘heart’, so…he was ok with it, I think. He said he hoped I recovered by today. He’s such a good person.

3.14pm
Soaking session now. I’m lying on Alex’s sleeping bag with him. Actually, I’ve been using his sleeping bad for the past 2 weeks. Haha. His sleeping bad is really nice.
We’re totally fine now. Non problemo.

4.33pm
I’m said, coz it’s the last full day, and my last full day with Alex.
God’s work is definitely evident in me. To me, at least.

20 June 09 (Sat)
8.57am
Last day! Sob sob. Of course it’s sad. But I can’t wait to continue this journey with Him that I’ve just started. He has taught me so so many things in just 2 weeks. You are awesome Father.

11.35pm
We did this awesome awesome time of prophesying over each other. First we did this lines and lines of people and then mixing up and prophesying over each other. Then we did this thing, one person sat on a chair, according to your lines and then person after person will come up to that person on the chair and say something that God had spoken to them about that person. Last one was just going round and find someone God told you to go to and just prophecy over that person. Cool stuff.

2.07pm
It’s over! Sob sob. But I feel so empowered. Wheeeee. God is so awesome.

4.32pm
Hardest was saying goodbye to Alex. He helped fetch me and daddy to the airport.
I’m flying business class! In the lounge now, so high class. Thank you Father, for all Your blessings.
One of the things that I got out of the prophesy time was that the Father is proud of me! I’m His joy! And I have the ability to change the environment, the people around me. So cool. I didn’t know I gave so much joy to people.
I should write about all that happened during the prophesy time coz it was so awesome. First, we lined up in 6 rows, 3 pairs of rows, each one on the row having a partner which was the person from the row that was right across them. One row on each pair turned faced away from their partners and closed their eyes. I was in one of that rows. Then all the rest just jumbled up so that everyone got a new partner. Then Helen, who was taking that time, told us what was going to happen. Those with their eyes closed will be turning around and prophesying on their new partner. We didn’t know who was standing behind us, so there would be no thinking on what to say to that person. When we turned around, we would ask God for a Bible character and why and then pray it over that person.
I somehow got Noah even before  turned around and saw who was standing behind me. I turned and it was…Joseph! haha he had this cheeky smile on his face. He said, “Not that hard to get a Bible character huh?” I laughed and then said seriously, “I got Noah.” I put my his shoulder and started to elaborate, but nothing came. It was just blank. And I had no idea why “Noah”. I started saying…”You are building something…and you are obeying God on this. People are saying things about you, doubting you, but you are sure you heard God right. And this thing you are building will give new life to people”. I was quite hesitant and it took a while for it all to come but that’s all I said. I had no idea what I was talking about.
Next was the opposite line’s turn. So the line beside us stayed and closed their eyes and we changed. At first I was behind Rani but because of one of Richard’s cheeky doings, I was asked  to change place so that Rani’s husband could be the one standing behind Rani. So my new person was Uncle Julian! He’s so nice. He prayed for me, saying really nice stuff and saying I was a Timothy. It was a very nice prayer but I forgot mostly what he said. I do remember that he said I was going to go back and share what I learned and people will be wondering what is within me that makes me so different. Cooooool…hahahah
The next exercise was this lining up thing. The person at the front of the line sat down on a chair and one by one, we had to go up to that person and say the 1st thing that God put into out hearts. I was the last one on my line. haha At first I was so scared, asking God “What do I say!” But he gave me the words. Yeah soon it was just so natural. It was awesome. And then it was my turn to sit on that chair. Person after person said that I brought joy to others and God and that I could change my surroundings. Someone said to pursue my dreams and someone else said not to be afraid. Yet another person said that the Father was proud of me! wheeeee awesome.
The last exercise was just going about and asking Father who we need to pray and prophecy over. We needed to go to at least 3 people. Before I could go anywhere, Hailey was coming up to me. She said she had felt like praying for me a few days ago, so now she knew she had to pray for me. The words she spoke over me were so accurate! so so accurate. Like I would look up at her and be like, where’d yo hear that?! hahaha one thing I like that she said was that the Father was so proud of me He was going around heaven telling all the angels and prophets, “Have you seen what my son’s done? Did you see? Do you know what he did?” and He was just bragging about me. Hahahaha oh ya and she said I was such an encouragement to others just seeing me coming all alone just to know more about Him.

Before writing this post, I became a kid again and entered the kid section of the lounge. There were colouring papers so I decided to try my hand at colouring, since I am supposedly an art teacher. lol…

The kids section

6.41pm
In the train now, going back home. The plane ride was ok, the view was awesome! We touched down when the sun was kinda setting. It’s still bright though.
Ok back to what I was saying.
After Hailey prayed for me, I saw Alex’s name. Alex was free so I went to him. I didn’t know what to pray about though. I hadn’t received any word. Then I saw a fish and it was swimming in an aquarium. But it longed to get out of there. When I said ‘fish’, he smiled, and I know he likes fishes–to both rear and eat. I prayed that over him, that he won’t let anything hold him back. It was a bit weird giving him a word, because I already knew him so well.
Then after that, Niklos just came to me and hugged me, said a simple prayer. He felt like he didn’t need to do anything, just hug me. After that, Daniel came and prayed for me. He’s so funny and cute. As old as he is funny hahaha He prayed for me but I can’t remember what he prayed. I just know it was a nice prayer and prophecy. After that I got kinda lost. I had no idea who to go to. Along he way of walking around aimlessly, Hannes walked up to me. He’s quite an old man too bt not THAT old. He prayed quite a long prayer but as soon as he started praying, I felt like falling over! The presence of God was slowly seeping into me. My whole body suddenly became so hot and I was wearing my jacket because it was cold! I could hardly make out what he was saying because I wanted to faint right there. Halfway through the prayer, he put his hand on my back and it was burning! Burning like fire! It was crazy. He kept praying God’s anointing on me, and also said I had His anointing in me ready to flow. Well, I seriously could feel it!
Actually, just before Hannes came to me, I saw Samuel’s name. He’s an uncle I met already. I saw the name Abel and felt like his sacrifices and worship was very pleasing to God. So after Hannes finished praying for me, I went to Samuel. At first he thought I wanted to talk to him, so he started asking me stuff like how I was going back etc…then I said, “I got something for you”. He immediately looked down and clasped his hand in front of him–automatic position. hahaha I told him what I got. Later he told me what I spoke over him was very encouraging and he thanked me. And he asked his wife to take a photo with me. hehehehe
By that time, most people had finished their praying and were sitting and talking or just gone for teabreak. I suddenly saw Hailey’s name so I went to her. She was talking to Jodi and Jodi can really talk. So while waiting, I asked Father what he wanted to say. He said ‘bold’. That was all I needed. Jodi left and I prayed it over Hailey. I built on it, saying she won’t be restricted by human rules and stuff but she will only obey the Father’s voice and that God wanted to increase that boldness even more. After that I went for teabreak. Yup.
I’m watching the sunset. The windows in the train are huge.

the end